Meet Kelly

When Kelly attended the first meeting, she was challenged in a way she never thought she’d ever be. She was challenged to really dig deep and honestly look at herself. She participated in one of the early exercises called the “40,000-foot View.” In this work, the participants were asked to view their lives from the outside looking in. For Kelly, from the 40,000-foot view of her life all she saw was chaos. She was running around helping others, serving others, people-pleasing, volunteering, and hosting so many events. She was spending so much time on others, that she wasn’t spending time with her favorite person: her husband.

As the program continued on, Kelly kept awakening. With each new lesson, she gained more awareness and clarity around how she was living her life and how it was draining her energy. One pivotal moment that really served as a wake up call for Kelly was when she asked for a one-on-one call with Julie. Kelly had just made her lunch and sat down to eat it. She then texted Julie to check if she was free for a call. Julie replied, “I’m eating my lunch right now, I can talk in 20 minutes.”

That response hit Kelly like a brick wall.

It didn’t upset her that Julie was busy... No, it was that Julie was actually intentionally enjoying her lunch. And that was something Kelly never did. Kelly never paused to eat. She never slowed down to focus on nourishing her body. She was always multitasking. She operated with the mantra: two hands = two tasks. At this moment, Julie simply telling Kelly that she was going to pause and reflect on the food she puts in her body was so powerful. Kelly decided that day that she would make a point moving forward to do the same.

With each passing week, the meetings, affirmations, and meditations became more impactful. That’s because Kelly was actually participating in them completely. She was fully present. She wasn’t preoccupied with what she was going to do next - whether it was to host an event, make dinner, volunteer, or go to a yoga class. No, instead, she was in the moment. It was powerful.

When she talks about really being in these moments, Kelly remembers feeling resistance. Julie dedicated an entire training session to this subject because when you’re trying to make changes in your life - you’re going to be met with resistance. And yes, this was true for Kelly too. It was a challenge every week to set aside time “just for her” to participate in this program. Not only did she feel her own internal resistance but she also felt it from her husband. Change is uncomfortable for everyone, but necessary - and through this resistance, Kelly shared openly with her husband her desire to change, improve and grow. Through this honest and vulnerable communication, Kelly deepened her connection with her husband, as well as gaining his loving support.

Before the course, she’d always seen these moments of resistance as life lessons. She felt, just as you work out with resistance bands, she was going to put herself to the resistance test and become stronger on the other end of it. While this is true in some sense, throughout the 12 weeks of the program, Kelly learned the truth about resistance. Resistance isn’t a way for life to test you and you to overcome. Instead, resistance is a gentle nudge from the Universe telling you that this way of life isn’t serving you.

In not making herself a priority and operating the way so many of us do daily - Kelly was losing herself in serving others. She was allowing life and loved ones to become more important than her own self. And as people-pleasers eventually come to learn, continually putting others before ourselves has consequences for everyone involved. Bitterness and resentment ultimately come to the surface as a result.

Today Kelly chooses to warmly embrace herself, rather than constantly giving to others and self-criticizing. She’s learned to listen to her body, mind, and soul, making decisions based on what’s right for her. People who know her will probably still see her volunteering and giving to others, but it will be because she consciously chose to do so. They’ll see a strong woman who checks in with herself first before giving energy to others.